Yesterday I sat on my couch in my living room with my younger sister ,watched a celebrity makeover count down, and gazed appalled at the host as he claimed Lindsay Lohan took the number ten spot for improving her body image. Yet, to my dismay, my younger sister not only agreed with this placing but wanted to become more like the twig like starlet.
Choosing my words carefully, as to not upset my younger sister's taste, I asked her what she found appealing about that particular body type.
She replied "I don't know. She's just not fat like me."
I was shocked and shaken by this answer. My younger sister, who stands at five feet almost eight inches tall and weighs in at about one hundred thirty pounds, is anything but fat. I honestly did not know how to respond with anything except "You aren't fat. You're normal."
To which she replied "Normal looking is average looking, and I don't want to be average looking. I want to be above average looking, which is attractive. Lindsay Lohan is above average looking and attractive."
I stared at my younger sister for a moment assessing her body and contemplating her words. I could not comprehend how she thought of herself as unattractive and fat. I tried to comfort her, but she began verbally attacking her own body as she compared herself to such beautiful celebs as Jessica Alba, Christina Aguilera, Miley Cirus, and the ultimate image of beauty: the Victoria Secret super model.
I explained to her the premise of photo shop, the profit gained by corporations by the instilled image of beauty, and the beauty found in the average looking women. She was unimpressed and unconvinced by my argument as she supported her own by stating "if average women are so beautiful why aren't they the ones selling things for brands and making money." Her argument made me feel outplayed by a thirteen year old, and I realized she was right...in a way.
The image of who the beautiful and perfect woman is as been rooted within our culture through commercialism and add campaigns. Yet, these women would be held as average if not for the advents of photo shop, plastic surgery, make-up, and of course flattering spanks (to suck in the fat under skin tight clothes). The average woman in the United States is a dress size 14-16 and 140 lbs. Is that really that unattractive?
After finding and showing these pictures (and others)to my younger sister, she studied them carfully. She confessed she had been on a diet to achieve that singed waist and pefectly round bottom Jessica Alba was famous for, and after viewing these photos she told me she felt lied to. I tried to explain a woman's body varries, and there is no such thing as the perfect woman.
She smiled and responded with "unless she knows how to use photoshop."
This conversation with my younger sister reminded me how awkward and comfortable it was as a young girl growing up and into an unperfect body. As an adult I look at adds and understand the woman looking back at me is manipulated with software, MAC, pushup bras, and high spray. Yet, as a teenager I would strive to compete with such images. It is unfair to depict a woman of impossible standards to younger girls trying to reach this perfection. What is more beautiful...a photoshopped image or an average woman? What is more attractive...a lies or honesty?
http://cocoperez.com/2009-10-15-ralph-lauren-really-hates-fatties
<3,
Nikki
Body image plagues every woman (and men though they are often the last to admit it). I was ridiculed in grade school through middle school for my body and it took me years to get a place where I feel good about me and how I look. It is unnerving to see such insecurities in girls as young as 13; 13 year olds dieting to look like a famous actress. I have been so pleased to see commercials like Dove advocating for real women, their ads using women you see every day without all the trimmings. Years ago there was an article in one of the major fashion magazines featuring Jamie Lee Curtis where she showed the magic of airbrushing and the real Jamie Lee Curtis. Not that anyone needs someone else to tell them they are beautiful but we should all be told that every day by someone who loves us and we need to be telling ourselves to love how we look. My fear raising a daughter is that she will face the horrible scrutiny we are facing today. I think you handled your sister amazingly, I’m not sure I could have handle the situation with such ability. Thank you for posting the pictures you showed your sister; more of us need to be aware of the media distortion and our perceptions of what they show us. Changing the world takes one person at a time and it will take as many of us as possible to rework how we think and look at each other.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that reading this blog I found it easy to believe that your sister reacted the way she did to your comments. Most girls in today's society view themselves in a negative manner and think looks are what a "real" guy cares about. To some degree we are all attracted to what we see, but it's who they are that keeps us interested. This is strictly my own opinion, but I would much rather have a girl who's average with a high level of confidence, than a girl who's hot with a shallow personality. You have to love yourself in order to love someone else; and if you can't do that then you'll never find to courage to let someone love you, because you'll always feel like you're not enough for them. Guys think the same thoughts at times and we carry the same insecurities about our bodies as we go through life. We've been trained to think that the people we see in the magazines and on tv are things of beauty, when in reality beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it varies from person to person.
ReplyDeleteI too think it’s unfortunate the ridiculous standards the media creates for people. To me it’s a very sickening representation of some of the problems our society is suffering from. Usually these images are a result and response to what society is going through as a whole. I’m taking a rhetorical gender focused English class and I watched a documentary on masculinity that turned stereotypical men around for me. To be honest I’ve of course observed some of these behaviors and made assumptions about them previously to seeing the movie, but the movie had completely in depthly explained the changing image of men very thoroughly. And I’ll admit it, the revelations were awful.
ReplyDeleteAt first you may wonder what the heck the male image has to do with women, but surprisingly it was a lot. As you examine movies, television, advertisements you can see not only the transition of men’s looks but women’s as well. They developed in a parallel sense. The documentary examined it from the 50’s on, but the changes were drastic and uneasy to have it discussed and revealed so thoroughly.
The movie, Masculinity, basically showed the transition of men like Bogart that totted smaller guns and had subtle attitudes to huge burlesque men such as Silvester Stalone in Rambo. The movie Rambo however became popular at a time when the U.S was suffering from men thinking that they lost the war due to “unmanliness”. The movie of course had many more examples that I highly recommend to watch for all that it reveals. But basically what it came down to was that as the ideal image of man became physically bigger (WWE physics and such) more violent and able to “take care of himself”, women’s images started to take up much less physical space. Such as the shapely women like Marilyn Monroe to the now very thin women we see in advertisements all the time. They were also supposed to be more submissive and all that other stereotypical ideals of what women should be.
All of it is very unrealistic for everyday people, and I think it’s just a matter of being conscience of it so that individuals don’t suffer from the outrageous ideals portrayed in the media. It really is a cry for social change in our society.