You know it is ugly when the faces are blurred...

I am a bridesmaid, and though I am honored to become a permanent fixture in my friend's memory of life altering moments (marriage, wedding, bridal shower, dress fittings...oh the list of these apparently monumental memories goes goes on and on) I cannot help but satirize the wedding process of the American bride.

My frist experience in the bridal process was shopping for the wedding dress. This is literally a process of hours and hours of looking through bridal magazines that feature impossibly perfect and manican like "brides" who showcase dresses of the size 2 genre. Once particular styles are selected the bridal party (in our case the party consisted of the bridesmaids, mother of the bride, and of course the bride herself) journeys to the nearest David's Bridal to try on countless dresses. The moment my best friend walked out of the dressing room with THE dress on I literally turned to her mother who was tearing up and told the bride "I picture you walking down the asle right now." With this comment we, all five of us, cried like the sterotypical women in the sterotypical scene. The dress was selected, ordered, and fitted.

Then came the bridesmaid dresses. I have a nice bride who is not forcing us into shinny, huge, and ugly dresses. Instead she has opted to allow each bridesmaid to seclect her own dress as long as it is Victorian Lilac (apparenly, this is a real color). First, let's talk about how awkward and embarassing the dress measuring process is...some lady (who I have never met in my life) approaches you with a yellow measuring tape with bold black numbers to announce your size. This stranger then constricts you within this measuring snake around the most intimate parts of your body.

Um, does anyone else feel werid when someone is taking note of how many inches around your chest, waist, and hips are while she is partically inches away from those areas?

I was told I have no boobs. I suppose the measuring lady expected for my to wear a pushup bra, because she told me "small boobies look non-existant in dresses." To which I told her I would keep that in mind in the coming months. She suggested I take hormones to fix my issue. Then, after the overall measurments, I was told I am a double zero or a big girl size sixteen. Awesome...I've always wanted to be a big girl. I replied by singing the pushups songs. You know it "Mommy, wow, I'm a big kid now."

--Nikki

Earthquake

So this past couples of posts in my blog have just been observations of my everyday life, and the educated conclusions I have drawn from said observations. Yet, given the recent devastation in Haiti and now Chile I feel as though my everyday life and its meaning are superficial and have a minimal impact on the world and its future. I am currently studying to become a middle school and/or high school English teacher. I have a true passion for literature, and I want to bring that passion to students. Yet, this goal seems so...well...meaningless in this world of chaos. I have had many recent conversations with my boyfriend about switching my major or finding a career that will assist more people or imprint a larger and more positive change for future generations. When I was in high school I was dead set on becoming a politician and reforming the prison and conviction system, but as I grew into my passions and worked an internship at a political headquarter I realized I was too earnest of a person to work in the political arena. I watched as lobbyist convinced my heroes to become products in the government corporation in order to gain a capital of votes and voter respect. Though, much of this respect and trust was misplaced. (I recommend everyone watch Thank You for Smoking.) I know teachers are rewarded by the difference they make in each student's life. Whether he/she has merely learned something for a teacher or has truly changed perspective due to a teacher's guidance he/she walks away from a class having evolved as a person. But I want to help many people. I want to make a true positive change for not only my community but the universe. I just do not know how to do so, and thus I am considering changing my major. Though, I have no idea what I would change it to. Perhaps, Superhero...or Free World Leader...hell, I would even settle for Vain Celebrity to Lend His/her Name to Good Cause.

Wanting to make a difference,
Nikki

Netflix Night...

Advanced Writing Composition class last Thursday really got me thinking about the influence of life experience and opinions in the news as well as within any forum that is considered to be "unbiased." Biased as defined by Dictionary.com includes a source that is "fair, equitable, tolerant, neutral." I began to think of examples of sources that meets this criteria, but I found myself hard pressed to find any. At first I thought of scientific and mathematical facts that are well known, but as a research these facts I discovered many of which were only presumed to be facts. An example of this is pretty much any mathematical equations. Numbers and equations, as I am still puzzled to consider, are not tangible and therefore not true, unbiased facts. Apparently for a fact to be unbiased a person with political, economic, and/or personal interests could not have discovered it, because this biased discovery would lead to a partial gain.

Does this mean all of the scientific and political minds who discovered such institutions as democracy and equations as E=mc^2 were just biased benefactors of their thoughts?

Then, I thought, surely location is an unbiased fact. Yet, who dictates where a countries boundaries end and begin. Do the resources of a country allocate where a boundary is? Then would not a boundary become a biased fact that was influenced by the judgment of man?

I suppose the idea of what is a biased and/or unbiased fact and portrayal has me quit puzzled and confused. I now file away stories I hear on the television or read on the web as news commentary rather than unbiased and impartial news.

--Nikki

Food and Folklore

One of my biggest passions in life is food. I love (not an over exaggeration)finding recipes, creating a shopping list, prepping food, cooking food, entertaining with food, and OF COURSE eating food. Thus, it is my honest belief that the human being is programed to in fact plan his/her entire life around obtaining, preparing, and consuming food. Humans are after all animals, and we all NEED food to survive. Now, I understand subsidence in general is necessary for my survival, but I am in LOVE with food. I realized this more than ever as I sat in my Folklore class pretending to take notes on my laptop when in fact I was actually salivating over the online Kentucky Fried Chicken menu (Yeah, KFC has an online menu). It was not until the random acquittance to my left glanced at my screen, and she asked "Are you...are you seriously looking up fast food menus during lecture?"

This bizarre sentence intrigued our neighboring random classroom acquaintances which then captured the attention of the professor. Needless to say I was thoroughly embarrassed for allowing my admitted obsession with food impede upon my learning experience, but as I began to examine the topic of folklore I discovered food is embedded within many cultures. I mean manna within Christianity is often associated with God's promise to provide for his people. In fact, the representation of bread and wine during mass is symbolic of the sacrificial blood and flesh of Jesus. Religious connections aside, there is food in literature folklore as well. The house made of candy, gingerbread, and all other sorts of goodies in the children's story Hansel and Gretel is a prominate presence of food in folklore. Food in cultural folklore exists: chocolate bunnies and Easter, Valentine's Day and chocolate, St. Patrick's Day and Beer; turkey and Thanksgiving; the apple in Snow White; hot dogs and the Fourth of July. Food is present within our culture and deeply embedded within our culture's folklore.





Food is also present within our regional folklore: Rocky Mountain Oysters; Sonoran Hot Dogs; Freedom Fries; Fried chicken and ocra; sweet tea. When I visit my hometown (Beaufort, South Carolina) over summers sweet tea is on every menu from Sonic to four star resort restaurants, and many local stories and legends involve the drink that defines Southern culture and hospitality. Food folklore is everywhere, so I believe I have foundt he topic for my midterm paper.



--Nikki

p.s.
Just downed some sweet tea and ate some Krispy Kreme.

Perfect Woman?

Yesterday I sat on my couch in my living room with my younger sister ,watched a celebrity makeover count down, and gazed appalled at the host as he claimed Lindsay Lohan took the number ten spot for improving her body image. Yet, to my dismay, my younger sister not only agreed with this placing but wanted to become more like the twig like starlet.




Choosing my words carefully, as to not upset my younger sister's taste, I asked her what she found appealing about that particular body type.
She replied "I don't know. She's just not fat like me."
I was shocked and shaken by this answer. My younger sister, who stands at five feet almost eight inches tall and weighs in at about one hundred thirty pounds, is anything but fat. I honestly did not know how to respond with anything except "You aren't fat. You're normal."
To which she replied "Normal looking is average looking, and I don't want to be average looking. I want to be above average looking, which is attractive. Lindsay Lohan is above average looking and attractive."

I stared at my younger sister for a moment assessing her body and contemplating her words. I could not comprehend how she thought of herself as unattractive and fat. I tried to comfort her, but she began verbally attacking her own body as she compared herself to such beautiful celebs as Jessica Alba, Christina Aguilera, Miley Cirus, and the ultimate image of beauty: the Victoria Secret super model.







I explained to her the premise of photo shop, the profit gained by corporations by the instilled image of beauty, and the beauty found in the average looking women. She was unimpressed and unconvinced by my argument as she supported her own by stating "if average women are so beautiful why aren't they the ones selling things for brands and making money." Her argument made me feel outplayed by a thirteen year old, and I realized she was right...in a way.


The image of who the beautiful and perfect woman is as been rooted within our culture through commercialism and add campaigns. Yet, these women would be held as average if not for the advents of photo shop, plastic surgery, make-up, and of course flattering spanks (to suck in the fat under skin tight clothes). The average woman in the United States is a dress size 14-16 and 140 lbs. Is that really that unattractive?






After finding and showing these pictures (and others)to my younger sister, she studied them carfully. She confessed she had been on a diet to achieve that singed waist and pefectly round bottom Jessica Alba was famous for, and after viewing these photos she told me she felt lied to. I tried to explain a woman's body varries, and there is no such thing as the perfect woman.
She smiled and responded with "unless she knows how to use photoshop."


This conversation with my younger sister reminded me how awkward and comfortable it was as a young girl growing up and into an unperfect body. As an adult I look at adds and understand the woman looking back at me is manipulated with software, MAC, pushup bras, and high spray. Yet, as a teenager I would strive to compete with such images. It is unfair to depict a woman of impossible standards to younger girls trying to reach this perfection. What is more beautiful...a photoshopped image or an average woman? What is more attractive...a lies or honesty?




http://cocoperez.com/2009-10-15-ralph-lauren-really-hates-fatties

<3,
Nikki

I have learned stupidity and self absorption are entertainingly delightful.

Instance # 1
The other day I went to Paradise Cafe and Bakery on Park Ave for some soup. There was not much of line as I arrived, and I found a place behind three girls. I would have called shenanigans on these girls (work out and MAC makeup attired), but they seemed to be completely honest with themselves and the world. One girl was complaining about how long it took her to apply her makeup that morning, so I figured she was not trying to fool anyone. Just as I gave this girl credit for her honesty she turned to order her sand which and asked the cashier behind the counter "I would like a turkey sand which without the bread." The cashier behind the counter looked stunned and asked for clarification "So, you want a salad," and the girl replied "No, I want a turkey sand which without the bread." The cashier appeared as confused as I was. I thought maybe this chick was trying to be ironic, but apparently not as she allowed the cashier to charge her for a sand which...without bread.

Instance #2
I was part taking in a conversation with a classmate about the devastation in Haiti. Our professor had forwarded the entire class an e-mail explaining an opportunity to travel to Haiti for assistance through several volunteer programs. My classmate then divulge "My friend is going to Haiti. He is in a nursing program, and he is also in the Coast Guard. They are shipping him off to Africa within the next couple of months to allow him to help with the relief effort."
I replied "Wow, and he is also going to Haiti?"
The girl said "Um yeah...I think he is just going to Africa in general."
To which I asked "Well, how is he getting to Haiti from Africa?"
She said in all seriousness "Um, I think they are giving him a GPS."
I thought, I sure hope he knows how to swim.

Now I would like to say I was digested with ignorance of our youth culture, but to be honest I think it is pretty hilarious that this generation is going to be the one that decides if we the United States goes to war, into more debt, gets out of debt, and provides health care yo the population. I wonder if bread girl and GPS girl will be future campaign contributors.

<3,
Nikki

I have learned freedom of speech does not necesarily mean a choice of responsibility.

The other day in my literary analysis class a student asked a pointed question about the use of apostrophe pertaining to figurative language. My professor answered the student's question by defining the literary term as well as providing examples. She explained an apostrophe is when the speaker addresses an inadiment object or noun that will and does not have the capability to respond (such as when a speaker of a poem says "Oh, beautiful sky" the sky is not capable of responding to the speaker). The professor went on to offer several more examples of this use of figurative language as cited in the readings as well as through out everyday conversation. She proceeded to ask the class if everyone understood the definition of the word and how it pertained to the unit, and everyone either responded with a yes or a nod of the head. Yet, the professor proceeded with one more example. She then proceeded with another unnecessary example "It is like when you pray to God. You don't get a response. Well, no one sane would receive a response, so I would hope no one in this class would receive a response from her." ...And the entire class laughed, giggled, and commented on how clever our professor is.

Yet, I sat in my seat feeling dumbfounded and as though a line had been crossed.

I should explain that I am a Pentecostal Christian, and I have been raised in a Christian home. Now this statement is often stigmatized with stereotypes of the Planned Parenthood protester and Fox News loving extremist, so please allow me to explain I do not judge anyone for his/her beliefs nor do I believe freedom of speech should be eradicated to allow Christians to feel more comfortable in a secular setting. The Pentecostal branch of Christianity stresses a personal relationship with God. I pray several times a day. I pray conversationally with God, because God is my savior and friend. This means I have a deeply personal relationship with God, and I receive responses from him through prayer. I was severely offended by my professor's statement, and I felt extremely isolated as I heard the entire class giggle at the core foundation of my faith.

I spent the entire remainder of the class in an awkward isolated position in my chair. I tried to block the statement from my mind and concentrate on the academic discussion that was now taking place. This was difficult as I found myself analysing the statement and the mocking tone in which it was made. I do not mind that she referred to God as a her, but it was the tone in which she implied this. I was most offended that she had inadvertently called me, my family, and the followers of my ENTIRE faith insane. Yet, I was saddened that she did not feel remorse for this statement, and no one else in the class appeared to pause and think the statement was inappropriate in an academic setting.

As soon as class was over I called my best friend from back home (South Carolina), and I explained to her the statement, my feelings, and why I was so disappointed in the professor's lack of distinction between free speech and academic responsibility. I suppose I just wanted the professor to realize that she had made an incredibly offensive statement, but my best friend explain that not everyone understand the freedoms we have been granted is also gifted with a responsibility. I had reached my car as my friend had told me this, and I began to cry. I have never cried over a bigoted statement before, but this statement was painful and left me feeling vulnerable and scared to express myself as a Christian openly.